Middle school was full of first for a lot of people. Some were amazing and others were brutal! I have friends who are still scared from their middle school experience and I just can’t help to think why is middle school so tough. I know what some are thinking the mix of learning freedoms for the first time to hormone increases but, still the emotional scars we create at this age still affects most adults. Why have we, as a society, NOT changed that? Why haven’t we guided our youth more so, they do not build these complexes like we did at this age. I recently had an encounter with my middle school when I went to my little sisters Volleyball game. I had the chance to walk the halls which, was extremely nostalgic for me. All the memories from years ago came rushing into mind, I wish I could say that it was my science fair project or my favorite history teacher.
I wish I could say I was a great person and student at that time. But, man I would be straight up lying to you, the lie that we all could not come back from. When I was walking the halls I realized that it was the place I learned about sex, about self-esteem, or lack there of, how to hate myself, how to hate others, how to survive, how to fit in and most of all how to be mean.
I have a little sister that is going through the middle school, like hard core, she reminds me of myself it scares me. I remember what it was like, what was going through my mind. The thoughts of “Breeya, your not good enough”, “you’re fat”, “why won’t Avan date me, I love him so much”, “what do I need to do to get attention from the guy I like (aka Avan) like all the other girls?”. Man the list can go on and on. Once, I stopped walking down memory lane I stopped and reflected man a lot of things we are struggling with as a middle-schooler hasn’t gone away.
My question is why? Why as an adult who has experienced the beauty of life still dealing with insecurities of her middle school self.
I asked my little sister what is going on in middle school, what are some issues you and your friends are facing? She told me something that just blew my mind. She told me weight, self-esteem, relationships, friendships, negative people and petty drama.
HELLO! If I asked a 30 year old what they are dealing with, would they not say the same things? Why are middle schoolers dealing with the same dilemmas as adults or, even better question is, why are adults dealing with the same dilemmas as middle schoolers?
I want to encourage all you adults out there reading this article that it is not too late to let that little girl or little boy know they are worth more than what the kid on the back of the bus said.You are worth more than your spouse, boss, neighbors, partners, and even friends say you are. You are so worth everything your heart desires. You are worth love from yourself to yourself and from others. Know that it is okay if that girl or guy doesn’t like you back. It is okay if you did not get that promotion. It is okay if you do not drive the fanciest car like your friend Dave said you should. It is okay if your business isn’t taking off like you thought and your spouse is pissed at you. It is okay, if your co-worker Sally said that your hair is ugly today. It is all okay because other people’s opinion doesn’t matter.
Let me repeat that THEIR OPINION DOES NOT MATTER.
The only opinion that matters is your own. It is none of your business if Sally likes your hair or if your crush thinks you are cute or not or if Tammy hates Donna. It doesn’t matter stop letting it affect your life. Stop carrying the weight of the insecurities of other people’s thoughts and opinions. The weight is literally killing you! It is holding you back from living an amazing life and you not living your amazing life literally kills the soul!
I beg of you, please stop letting that little middle schooler inside of you dictate your life. Their fears, their insecurities, their petty drama, their self-sabotage-ness, their need of approval, their hatred. It is time to rewrite the story you are telling yourself. It is time you heal those scars so we can all, collectively, teach the next generation how to love themselves and respect others. But, before we can all do that we have to teach that middle schooler inside ourselves that we are worth it all and more. We all have to teach by example first.
If you have a story of middle school that you need to let go of or if there is something that you need to tell the middle school you say it here in the comments section. Let this be your safe place to release that weight. You do not have to do this alone, I am here for you, I am here to help you release that pressure.