Does Our Inner Circle Define Us?
We have all heard about inner circle and how you are the sum of the 5 people you hang around the most, right? Today I was really thinking about this concept and how to some degree it is the absolute truth. It is just like the saying no matter where you go there you are. When we look at our friends it is a mirror reflecting attributes of our-self. Sometimes the things you hate the most about your friends is the one thing that you don’t like about yourself, but you are afraid to admit to it.
For example, I had a friend that was always “lazy” and just received metals, praises, etc. like it was freaking free candy on Halloween. I used to get so pissed when I would notice that he wasn’t doing anything at all but still received praise. I finally thought to myself why am I acting so jealous I should be happy for my friend that he is working smarter not harder. Then I realized something about myself… I feel rewarded deep down inside when I receive praises. Even though I used to not take compliments very well, like at all, I like to have people acknowledge me. I am just one of those people that like to know that my hard work has been noticed. Anyways, I tell this story to say that sometimes we can find out more about ourselves through our dearest friends. Some of these attributes can be bad, meaning areas to improve on, and some could need to be enhanced because they are so freaking awesome.
There was a point-in-time in my life that I looked at my inner circle and thought to myself.. “Fu*k”. We all had that moment either consciously or subconsciously so, don’t judge! I found myself realizing that I was hanging out and gathering advice from people who were not “trying to” or either at the place I was aspiring to be. Instead they were the people crawling out of the bars after, even the bartenders left. Lets just say I had more than one party friend. We all have the one friend that brings the party wherever you go but, rails it in after 3 or 4 drinks. NO not me I had 5 wild children in my inner circle that I was taking advice from. I think we all have that moment after college in our 20’s where we go through the awkward transition of priorities. For some this can be the awkward 30s or 40s. I have a lot of friends in their late 30s that are still figuring it all out. No matter where you are in your journey I am so grateful you are at a place to fully understand the power of a great inner circle.
So, what is this inner circle we speak of? I am so glad you asked! An inner circle is, by my definition, your top 5 friends, family members, business partners, paid professionals, etc. These are the people that you call on for advice and spend most of your time with. Now, there may be different inner circles for different areas of your life. For example, I have business inner circles that I bounce ideas off of and network with, but they aren’t my first picks for asking for dating advice. Dating advice would be my girlfriends and preferably the ones that are married. It is okay to have different inner circles for different topics, I actually recommend it. Now, I do have people that are apart of many inner circles of mine these people are my master group.
I consider people in my master group as people, I can call on no matter what the topic is. These are the people that can feed you business ideas, dating advice, marital advice, parenting advice, happy hour advice, etc. These are the people that have your back no matter what and tend to be people you hang around or call on the absolute most. This master group should be a hand-picked, trailed, genuine group of people that support you and want to see you grow. One bad seed in your master group can really hinder you, trust me. With that being said, are there going to be people that come in and out of your inner circle or master group? Sure, as you grow as a person there will be people that don’t vibe with you anymore as well as you may not vibe with them either. When you grow and expand your frequency expands and that is okay, it is actually a great thing.
When you are ready to take your inner circle or master group to the next level you should really get real with yourself. It all starts with you and this is something that could be hard to face. You should dig deep and ask yourself first, are there lessons to be learned from my current inner circle/ master group? Also ask yourself, have I shared all that I have to share with my inner circle? I believe that it is so important to keep relationships that have a beautiful give and take flow to them. These people may not have to be in your current or future inner circle but, keep in contact with these people you never know how you all could benefit from each other. Once, you have evaluated your current groups start to think about who you want to become.
It is so important to know where you are wanting to go and start by working with-in. Once you figure out who you want to become you can start to figure out where like minded people hang out at, what events they go to, etc. All the work starts with you first, you have to know where you are going or you will just end up with people who are a direct reflection of your current self. When elevating your inner circle/ master group it is a good rule of thumb to be of benefit to the person you are wanting in your circle. What I mean is do not come from a place of “how can you help me grow” but come from a place of “how can I help you grow?” Coming from this space will help you to gain genuine connections which leads into an evolving inner circle.
I could talk about this subject for days but, I would like to know what do you do to evaluate your inner circle? How many inner circles do you have? Do you feel like having a genuine inner circle or master group could change your life?